So today I got a full 9 hours of sleep.

And man, I feel like crap. Hahaha. I love sleep, but I love it in the form of say..naps. I usually average 4-5 hours of sleep a night but I function perfectly fine, probably even better than when I get a full night of sleep. 

I don’t know when it began, but I’ve been a workaholic ever since I can remember. When I was younger, I focused mainly on homework and helping out with my parent’s business. After getting my first job, I volunteered my time and efforts into working and benefit projects. After that, I just gradually picked up everything I felt a passion for and eventually, I’m here. Here with four hours of sleep a night, and grades not comparable to anyone. I’m not failing or anything, but I’m not exceeding like I used to.

Being a perfectionist has its perks, but it definitely has its negatives too. Being a determined perfectionist makes me sleep deprived and constantly running around with my head cut off. 

But you know, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Yesterday I was driving straight for a good 15 minutes on this completely empty road, only accompanied by the dim lighting of the street lamps. I got to thinking about relationships.

So many girls continually complain and develop expectations their significant other can’t meet. We make ourselves out to be the victim; the one that’s always mistreated. I’m a feminist and all, but let’s be fair. Not a lot of girls know what they want. And when they know what they want, their expectations are too unrealistic to be met. There’s so many pressures on a guy. How expensive is it to be paying for everything, all the time? Buying a meal for yourself everyday even adds up to be an immense amount after a week, guys are expected to buy for two. And you know its not just once a day. They work just as hard as we do, if not harder. I’m not saying all girls are making themselves victims without reason, I’ve been treated badly myself. There are many guys that treat women badly, but there are many women who treat men badly too. Its no double standard. 

I have a lot of guy friends, and behind their closed off personalities is a girl who made them that way. Wrung them until they were dry and left them there to parch. 

I have a lot of girlfriends that keep complaining about miniscule things they call flaws in their guy. Do they not realize they have flaws too? 

Not a lot of people understand why I do a lot of things that I do. My girlfriends don’t understand why I apparently “yield” to people I date. And the guys I date don’t understand why I refuse to let them put me on a pedestal. 

I’m understanding with people because I know they have more to offer. Not a lot of people are given chances to prove themselves, their reputation is lost after one opposed move. I like to trade off paying and driving because I don’t like to be expectant or dependent. I can only let myself be spoiled if I can do some spoiling in return. 

In return though, I’m often underappreciated. I’ve realized that girls who are bitches always tend to get more, lol. Why?

Meh, I hate dating. There’s so much to be lost, but so much to be gained at the same time and you can’t decide if its worth it to hold on. Or how long to hold on. Or…if you can even hold on.

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