My family and I grew up with bare necessities. There was little emphasis on materialism but more on justifications of meaning and collectivism.

When I first moved to Colorado, one of our first “homes” was an old clay apartment in the more disadvantaged area of Denver. There was a living room, a small kitchen, and two rooms. One of those rooms leaked water and lacked heat, so we fit a couple of beds into one room and slept on it together. The bathroom initially was infested with cockroaches and I remember having to call the manager because it was flooding when I came home in second grade.

I find comfort thinking of the place, however. I owe some of my favorite childhood memories to that apartment complex; staying out until late playing in the grass and star gazing with children my age.

We then moved to a ranch style home in Aurora. It was “cute”, at first. Until the living space got smaller and smaller as I grew bigger and bigger. I would walk out of my room and meet the living room, then quickly met the kitchen. Eventually, I felt like there was no space to walk because I’d leave my room and end up at the other side of the house. I met my best friend here though, she was my next door neighbor. For the next 5 years that I lived in that house, we spent almost the entire week together; every week, every month, and every year for five years. After 11 years of friendship, she’s one of the only people that I can fully depend on to understand me to this day.

I remember telling my mom that the only thing I want is to live in a house with a staircase. That’s the one thing that would make me happy.

We now live in a three car garage, two story house. Since I’ve lived here, my car has been broken into. My dad’s car was purposely dented. I’m 45 minutes away from my best friend, half an hour away from school and to every destination besides suburban Aurora.

I have my staircased house, what now? My desires have changed. They’ve grown to far more specific expectations.

Expectations that exceed the possibilities of realities, sometimes. I feel like this reign true for almost every situation. The more we are exposed to what we’ve wanted, the more we’ll want more.

And more.

And..more.

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